pink is actually a very trippy colour.

the right subtle shade of it, atleast.

yes, kill me. i mentioned *the word* on my blog..

edit: on after thought, bleh. pink can't ever be subtle. trippy, though. ohhh yeah.

Results just came out.
Things are going to get increasingly morbid on this blog herewith.
You are requested to not read more than once a month or you'll drown in severe bouts of depression.

Signing off..

Off comments again, people.
Don't want to be doing much dialogue-type posts.
Happy with monologues.

For comments, death threats, fan mail, and other things that look like fan mail, please do mail me- mvsita at gmail dot com. You can also IM me, (preferably) by clicking on the icon on the menu on the right of the page.

Introverted, now that's a new word, innit?

Introvert.

I stay within. In my own defined world where nothing's defined, nothing's right, nothing's wrong. And build my own world of pink and purple chocolate wrappers.

And there's not a soul to judge.

Surface chemistry, hah! On the surface. But there's so much more underneath. So much more zeal, so much more laziness.

There's more to everything, there aint much to anything.

What you see of me is what I create, what I conjure.
These are the bare necessities,
The simple, bare necessities of life,
Forget about your worries and your strengths..

And because I can't, I hide, I cast mirages.

And I stay within.

In my mediocrity
And your pretense,
I'm lost.

In my confusion
And your clarity,
I drown.

Results out in ten days.
Ten.
I'm so screwed.

(Four lines, just for thee Blur.)

Note to Self - Dream.

I don't get how people title the stuff they write.
Just don't get it.

I've never ever been a nut that I am on my blog. Ever. Ever ever ever. I think it is time I put that mask on.

Here's a story I wrote yesterday in class.

This is going to be a story. It's going to have a guy and a girl. And they're going to fall in love. And the girl's dad or brother or someone wants her to get married to this other guy. And there's going to be a whole lot of dialogues about how they'd either die together or live happily ever after, but we all know it will end in divorce. So now that you know, I'm not telling you that story. You could just go watch a movie for that.

I'm going to tell you another story. Not mine, cuz I haven't done anything spectacularly brilliant yet. This one's about a spider. Yeah, wunnadem long, hairy legged things with not much of a body. They quite fascinate me. No, really. They weave all those amazingly intricate webs and all that. They take up almost half my room's ceiling. I don't know when it came to my room, really. I only noticed it this one lazy afternoon when I was absolutely sleepy and there was no electricity, so I couldn't turn the fan on. I actually did see it only because I was watching this mosquito and was trying to keep it from buzzing at my ear. It gets really irritating when they do that. I mean, they just go on and on and on. Even when you wave your hand at them they keep coming back. Sadists.

So I absolutely shooed it away. Waved like this mad woman till the mosquito was convinced I wasn't worth biting. Musta thought I have bad blood or something. But anyway, it was buzzing away, minding its own business, trying to find someone else's ear to buzz into, probably. Suddenly, it sorta got stuck in what seemed to be mid-air.

I sniggered. That was a pretty mean thing to do, snigger. Almost sadistic, even. And then I saw the spider. Hah! I thought. I think I said it aloud as well.

So the spider scuttled over to the trapped mosquito. Calmly, it started shooting its goo all over the thing. Like it was gift wrapping it or something. I could almost even see the sweet li'l bow on it. And then she ate it. Like the goo was (is it called?) eusophagus (the digestive pipe thingy) or something. It just disappeared. Hah hah! I said and snorted.

I wrote out a notice that said "Ignore the Spider. She just wants lunch" and put it up on my notice board. Just for the heck of it, I drew a spider on it and something that looked like a web next to the spider.

My mom freaked. She really did. She looked up at the ceiling and screamed. And then she brought a broomstick and tried swatting it. But she couldn't cuz the power was back and she was afraid the fan'd do something to the broomstick. Also, she couldn't really reach the ceiling with the broomstick.

And then this other lizard I like (it ate another mosquito once) flicked its tongue at the spider. I used to admire its aim. One flick, insect gone. Just like that.

So it flicked its tongue at the spider and the spider disappeared as well. Heh.. the lizard ate the spider and the mosquito. Buy one, get one free.

So that's the story. I could probably make a movie and get rich too. The end. I live happily ever after, till the next mosquito comes by.

I presume I'm just lazy. I know I'm lazy.
Just. Plain. Lazy.

My days are just melting away like ice cream in my mouth in summer. I can feel them die. With successfully accomplishing nothing. Zilch. I have so much to do. It's always, shit! I think I'll do it tomorrow.

I still have mountains of work. It most certainly doesn't feel like the end of everything. That cousin of mine was right, I suppose. Life doesn't end with your twelfth standard board exams, it just gets worse.

I'm just dreaming it all away. I probably am taking too much for granted. Probably praying for too many miracles.

I couldn't have felt more like a disappointment before. Probably because it isn't somebody else disappointed, it's me. I know I can work harder, I know I can work. I just won't.

"Just the fact that you're trying shows that you're not going to let yourself screw it up," a friend said.

What if I just managed to?

It comes
But through restraint.

It feels
But not like it's mine.

It listens
But I don't feel like talking.

It's detached,
But I still try.

For whom?

I feel like
I'm being ruled
By a void.

I'm suddenly rid
Of all that
Cheer.

Not like the
World's burdens
Are upon me..

Just that
I don't feel
Sunshine..

I got a comment on my previous post (had absolutely nothing to do with the post) that asked me to ignore a homophobe, and just take it as a frame of mind, like homosexuality is a frame of mind-
If you just can let people be homosexual and have to accept their way of life, why can't you just let people be homophobes, and accept their thinking, instead of saying you're intensely against it and all?? Well...

So how is it you judge people based on their sexual preferences? If you are against it, you need a basis, a reason, don't you?
What's your excuse? Don't say its wrong, so I'm against it.
It's perfectly normal. You are, infact, being worse than a racist. It is more than just absurd to dictate to a person that they should be liking only a man or only a woman.
Why is it wrong? What is your stand?
If you are against it because society is against it, then well, society doesn't exactly stop people from employing children, society doesn't stop people from caste discrimination, society does do a lot of wrong things.
I am perhaps being very temperamental, but heck! How the hell do you decide for someone else if their sexual preference is right or not? More importantly, why must you decide?
I had a teacher who just nodded her head and said, "It is wrong. That's all." Why is that all, dammit? Because the person next to you doesn't like the idea of it? Because love is polluted by it? So how do you know?

He said let's not argue about it, shall we? Let's end it here..
Why?
I'm not trying to change the way you think. I don't care about the way you think. It is about how you can baselessly (I'm saying baselessly, because absolutely nothing can be reason enough to condemn them) allege people of loving the wrong people.
What is more absurd, is how simply most people do it. With a wave of a hand, they just dismiss the whole idea as if it is too absurd to even pretend it exists, and happens to normal people. "They are just trying to attract attention, so they're being gay" is the most often used reason I'm given. Can not be a bigger load of shit.

So what if a guy wants to marry a guy, or a girl, a girl?
So. Fucking. What?

But like I said earlier, (in a post in november), acceptance of homosexuality from a society that hasn't yet fully accepted how a man and a woman can fall in love before they get married itself, is a lot to ask for.