17.12.07

i have to say these things. you popped into my head, two days ago. it's only the good things that pop, like warm buttered popcorn, and come pouring out. that vision of you, the only one i've had to live with for these years, that goofy, goofy smile and you sitting under a window with a tree and moonlight outside. you, with a phone at your ear, and talking with your legs stretched out. it's been so long, i wonder how you're doing, where you've been, and what you're doing.
i found some old, old messages that day. ones i wrote to you, way back then, in the beginning. i wonder if you'd even remember them. you were sending me lyrics of flaming, and i kept getting more freaked out by the second. i even replied, patiently, to every stanza. i was at my table, trying to study some physics, i think, and there you were (yippee! you can't see me, but i can, you) pulling me enticingly into another one of those seven hour long conversations, about what, i don't even remember. i haven't had conversations like that with anyone, at all. i wonder if it's safe now, to admit that i was always fond of you. right from that first email, i had fallen for you, hook, line and sinker. it just took me forever to realise that i did. i think you know this too.
i think i still have that letter you wrote to me. i feel like a silly idiot when i think of what i wrote to you. so very immature, the few bits that i remember seem. may be i'll find it when we move this weekend, when i'm cleaning up and packing up. you are like a fantasy, to me. and i guess it's easy for me to assume that you were a piece of fiction, given the nature of how we were close, and how you were to me, a feeling, a perception. a trick of the light.
i must say this too: that it was pleasant to find this memory, wonderful to know you, and nice to have you disappear.

where do they go, these good times? sucked into a pool of memory, time and buried under the bad, the bitter and the ugly, we forget them. we prefer now, to stow it all away, and keep them sealed, locked under everything else, and finally let them rust.

15.12.07

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
NOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOO!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PRATCHETT HAS ALZHEIMER'S!