years and years of accumulated acquaintance, shared spaces, collected gossip, small talk, a kind of friendship that i don't know how to place. i've typed and deleted and typed and erased and typed and retyped for the past hour, looking for words. i don't know how to find them. what can i say? what can anyone say? to whom? i only have way too many questions. and no one to answer them. a whole life. worth what? pieces of fucking paper.