12.10.11

better things will surely come your way

listening to massive attack again after all these long years reminds me of many of my firsts - first field visit, first boyfriend, first tsunami (i wasn't in it, but my two srilankan companions were from tsunami hit places in srilanka), first time i peed in an open field in the dark. for a lot of people, it was listening to teardrop that did it in for them. me, it was unfinished sympathy. on a bus to adilabad, i woke up mid-nap to turn off my ipod when i heard her singing - like a soul without a mind, like a body without a heart, i'm missing every part. i was in love.

every song on that album (blue lines), i have memories of being on the road in adilabad or mahboobnagar. safe from harm is my favorite memory - i was on a bridge over a river, the sun was setting and the sky was reflected in the water - the whole world was purple, orange and pink*. i was looking back to see if you were looking back at me to see me looking back at you. blue lines only reminds me of chickoo and me singing alternate lines because we only remembered the song that way. i still only sing half the lines and imagine her singing the other half.

with mezzanine, i still excitedly tell people that i first listened to that album because my room for the longest time was a mezzanine floor. dissolved girl has got to be one of my most favorite massive attack songs. feels like i've been, i've been here before - you're not my savior but i still don't go. and angel, reminds me of the first time i watched snatch. that afternoon when we all got drunk in my house, drinking vanilla vodka and baking the best quiche and apple crumble i have ever eaten.

so now i listen to massive attack again, thinking to myself that growing up hasn't been what i thought it would be at 17. i might think i know better, that the years have worn my optimism down, but i'll still sing it - i'll sing it in the shower and sing it in the car and i'll sing it loudly when i'm all alone.

they say the magic's gone
well i'm not a magician
they say the spark's gone
well get an electrician

you want
freedom, without love
magic, without love

here we're safe
better things will surely come my way.

**

*it just struck me - i actually have a picture!

1 comment:

Sharan said...

I haven't heard either.

But, nostalgia-tinged posts are always the best.

Touching.