for all the times i have felt better about my roots, for being aware of all the things i take for granted that most of my girl friends have to negotiate and bargain with their parents, for being given the opportunity to find out for myself what my boundaries are; 

for all these things and all these times, there are the occasional crushing opposites: the times when inevitably i am told by a well-meaning relative or an equally well-meaning total stranger what the "socially appropriate" thing for a woman is. when i have no choice but to give in, even when it's something i don't even give a shit about. 

and because it's the principle of the damn thing, here i am, offended, hurt, and blogging oh-so-cryptically about it.

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