what the water gave me

Dive in.

Let the temperature of the water shock you.

Don't stop. Keep swimming.

Swim till your arms hurt. Swim till your breath stops. Swim till your feet cramp and tell you you need to stop.

Don't stop anyway. Stretch your arms while you're swimming. Breathe deeper while you're swimming. Your feet aren't important, you don't need them when you're swimming.

Stop when your head is spinning too much. Stop when you don't have to scream anymore. Stop when the music in your head is calmer. Stop when you want to. Not because you have to.

Stop in the middle of the pool. Roll over. Hum to yourself. Fall asleep on your back. Let the water hold you up.

Let go.


regular* valentine's day rumination

this year, i feel like e e cummings.

(partly because i've been obsessed with this poem all week; but also because it's that kind of year - i don't feel like doing something cheesy or ironic. i just feel like being sappy.)

if everyanything happens that can't be done

e. e. cummings 

if everything happens that can't be done
(and anything's righter
than books
could plan)
the stupidest teacher will almost guess
(with a run
around we go yes)
there's nothing as something as one

one hasn't a why or because or although
(and buds know better
than books
don't grow)
one's anything old being everything new
(with a what
around we come who)
one's everyanything so

so world is a leaf so a tree is a bough
(and birds sing sweeter
than books
tell how)
so here is away and so your is a my
(with a down
around again fly)
forever was never till now

now i love you and you love me
(and books are shuter
than books
can be)
and deep in the high that does nothing but fall
(with a shout
around we go all)
there's somebody calling who's we

we're anything brighter than even the sun
(we're everything greater
than books
might mean)
we're everyanything more than believe
(with a spin
alive we're alive)
we're wonderful one times one


*i considered saying random valentine's day rumination for a long time. because that's what hip blogs do. in any case, for the sake of almost-accuracy, i decided to go with regular. other valentine's days here, here and here

journal entry on a vacation

I'm in Pondicherry, at a resort with a swimming pool with a tree.

 I've been sitting here in the sun for about a day. Reading NW (Zadie Smith), yes I know what I say about her. I may want to take it all back because this book is pretty awesome.

I've also been eating strawberries with fresh, creamy ricotta.

Is this the life?

This is the life.


paint my face rainbow because it's a gay kind of day

Hyderabad had its first Queer Pride last week.

And I wasn't there! :(

I feel like I'm missing out on all the important developments in the world. Bah.


what if

is in
its evoking